Them jokes
Let’s say there’s a person who should have never come to exist. How would you find them?
A: Look in a mirror.
My mother wanted to test my responsibility and wanted me to cook dinner for the family to help me understand how it feels to constantly cook for a whole family. So, me with my horrible humor, decided to make a giant joke for when dinner time came around, and so I just got four plates and set them in front of my family and I then said, "Here you are, a fine African meal." Then everybody looked at me in disappointment, and then I continued to say, "What? Poor taste?"
What does Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common?
They're both made of plastic and children turn them on.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
What do you call a mosquito in your language?
We don't call them, they just come and bite.
The irony of metal jokes is pretty fun. But it leads to a lot of people stealing them.
What’s the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds?
There’s twenty of them.
I have a skeleTON of jokes, but none of them are very humorous.
What does your mom and a slinky have in common?
They aren't much to look at, but you can't help but crack a smile when you see them tumbling down the stairs.
Why are graveyards so popular? Because people are always dying to get into them.
Me and my friend went to the park. After a while, we grabbed our little princess and said, "It's time to go, sweetie." But before we could go, someone said, "Stop them, they have my daughter!"
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Come on guys, it's not nice to make fun of autism. I mean really, the Riot devs try their best, but just because they have autism does not mean you can make fun of them. Make fun of them for something else, like their Down syndrome.
My friend got mad when he caught me smelling his sister's panties. I don't know why he was mad, maybe because she was wearing them, or because his whole family was watching. Either way, it made the funeral a bit awkward.
How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb?
I don't know, they just keep Putin them in.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a hooker?
The look on their face when you're nailing them.
Brian was shopping at a mall. He hopped onto an escalator. Next to him were two people having an argument. Eventually, one of them pulled out a pocket knife threatening to stab the other. Brian murmured "Well, that escalated quickly..."
What’s worse than giving women rights?
Having them. In the first place.
What's the best thing about f*cking twenty-eight-year-olds?
There's twenty of them.
There's an old lady doing gardening every year. Nothing grows. She goes to the man who lives next door. She says, "How do you get your tomatoes so big and red?" He tells her, "You show them your privates at night time." So she leaves. That night later, she goes outside and shows the garden her privates. The next day she's got zucchinis a meter long!