Their jokes
Why does dark humor love orphans? Because the humor killed their parents.
My teacher asked everyone how tall their grandparents were. I responded, "My grandpa is 5ft 10, and my grandma is -6ft."
Why did the orphan eat cereal with water?
Their dad did not come home with the milk.
All zodiac signs have their hairstyles. Except cancer.
Where do fish keep their money?
In a riverbank!
Memes
What do ghosts put on their bagels π₯―?
Scream cheese.
What do ghosts put on their bagels π₯―?
Scream Cheese π±.
Why do bisexual men π¨ π© π¨ love gay men bisexual men don't love gay men π¬ π¨ π¨ they just wanted to suck gay men's π¬ cocks π π because they π π like their π¨ π¨ π¦ π¦ cream filling π βΊ π π π€ π π βΊ π π π€ π π βΊ
What was the last thing going through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
Never break a girl's/boy's/someone's heart. They only have one of them.
Break their bones instead. They have 206 of them.
Why can't orphans be criminals?
Because they're not wanted.
A couple is on their first date.
Man: How do you feel about sex?
Woman: I like it infrequently.
Man: I see. Is that one word or two?
A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull.
The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram."
She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable."
Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"
If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it, would they be kicking or hitting you?
I walked up to a man, and he said, "How's the weather up there?" and then I pushed him into the street to get hit by a bus.
Why do Down's kids blend in in geometry?
Their foreheads are angled.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Sevenβs been worried about six even since he left Afghanistan. Every time 6 closes his eyes, he sees the war and hears the gunshots. He sees the blood, the killing, the death, and soldiers falling. When he looks at seven, he remembers when they were forced to eat their own flesh to not starve in those caves. He sees the war and the flashbacks will come back forever, burned into his soul and mind.
What's the difference between a hooker and Jesus?
Their face when you nail them!
A women's knitters group is having a meeting, and they are all pregnant. They all talk about their pregnancies.
One woman says, "I'm taking vitamin C so my baby has a healthy immune system."
Another knitter says, "I'm taking folic acid to help my baby's brain."
Finally, one woman says, "I'm taking Thalidomide!"
All the women turn to her and say, "Thalidomide! Don't you know your baby could be born without arms?"
The woman shrugs her shoulders and says, "I don't know how to knit arms."
Jack and Jill went up the hill to find their dad again.