The jokes
Student: Hey! Did you hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Teacher: No?
Student: All I can say about it is, "Well, well, well."
When the grass is bloody, You play in the mud...
What did one poop say to the other poop? What's the matter? You look flushed!
Just because you have a career in the North doesn't mean you are North Korean.
Little Susie had gotten her first period. She told her mom, and they bought pads.
The next month, Susie's mom asked if she had her second one. Suzie said no, and her mom fainted!
Memes
What do you call the longest reigning monarch?
The queen? No, she dead.
A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."
This disabled girl started rolling after me, so I ran to the stairs. 🤣🤣 LOL
Why can't a Chinese kid play baseball?
They ate the bat!
What's the difference between a cat and a human? About 500 bullets.
I was the manager at a McDonald’s in Turin when I saw Penaldo walk in and submit a job application. I asked him to show me his skills and experience, but he just started diving and asking for pens and tap-ins. I was confused until Penaldo told me that’s all he knows how to do.
What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench?
The NBA.
A man is being sued for raping a deaf girl. The judge, showing his pinky:
"You should be ashamed, man, your conscience is even smaller than that!"
The girl, showing her arm:
"Mhhhmmhmm, mhhmhm!"
What is the difference between Jesus and a painting?
It only takes 1 nail to hang a painting!
Where did the eye doctor keep all his kittens? On Cat-A-Racks!
What did the neutrino say to the planet?
"Just passing through."
How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using a computer?
There is sperm on the screen.
How to make holy water:
1. Grab a pot.
2. Put water in it.
3. Set the stove to 420 degrees.
4. Boil the hell out of it.
How did Helen Keller's mom punish her? Rearranged the furniture.
Why did the strawberry 🍓 go out with a banana? Because it could not find a date.