The jokes

To start off this Christmas season, I'ma make a list of what I want, then I'ma make plans with my family, then to start off my decorations, I'ma start with the first ornament and hang myself.

Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark that, instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed?

His name is Vladimir Pootin.

Why was the entire population emo in the 1920s?

Because it was the Great Depression.

The best part about Poland 🇵🇱 is that the police lights are different.

Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.

Bro, I’m so pissed. There is always that one kid in the class who the teacher helps. I hate that guy in the wheelchair.

What is the difference between an orphan and a robber?

One is wanted.

I-I-I-I-I-I keep on hopin' we'll eat cake by the ocean, uh!

Yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, "To Be Continued."

Guys, the person that said "suck a dick" was Mase. His real name is Mason, so ya.

The average stripper weighs 112 lbs.

According to the pole 💈.

"I work with animals," a man said on his Tinder date. "That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who works with animals. Where do you work?" "At the butcher shop!"

Some people say I'm rude, but I think I'm pretty nice because the other day I saw this kid crying on the road and I asked him where his parents were. I just love looking at an orphanage.

What’s the best cure for not wanting to go to work?

Suicide.

What is the difference between an orphan and a mailman?

The mailman goes home at the end of the day.

Remember, the confession booth is not a glory hole.

What is the orphan's version of a family portrait?

A selfie.

What's an orphan's favorite toy?

A boomerang because it's the only thing that comes back to it.

What do a penis and a Rubik's Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

Why did the emo person cross the road?

TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE Haha.