The jokes
Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite, and if they do, hit them with a shoe till they're all black and blue!
Donald Trump is getting all the perks of 2020. He got COVID and lost his job.
Why did Stephen Hawking go to Hell?
He couldn't get up the stairway to Heaven.
Please help, my dad is an addict. He won't stop, and he eats my food.
Sometimes I think, should I kill him? But nah, he will go down with the others who did that too.
What’s the difference between an epileptic corn shucker and a prostitute with diarrhea?
The epileptic corn shucker “shucks between fits”...
Why did the orphan call her boyfriend "daddy"?
Because she wanted that D.
What do LGBTQ+ people use as a weapon in THG (The Hunger Games)?
A rainbow.
The news of the brother getting sucked off regularly by his sister spread really fast... all over her face 🤤.
You really can't call Stalin bad. Just think about the people that wanted to die.
Why did the chicken kill himself?
To get to the other side.
Knock knock?
Who's there?
Not Sally, she doesn’t have any arms.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? She doesn’t have any arms.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus.
Dog walks into a bar and says, "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw."
A pirate walks into a bar and has a ship's wheel in his pants.
The bartender asks, "What's with the wheel in your pants?"
The pirate replies, "Yarrr! It's drivin' me nuts!"
Did you hear the one about the deaf person?
Me: No.
That's because they can't hear, so they don't talk.
Why did the skeleton not listen to the rules?
He was "bone tiba wild."
Where can you find a list of dead astronauts? In the orbituaries.
Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with only one hand?
A: She moans with the other.
Why do women always have sex with the lights off?
Because they never like to see a man having a good time.
What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?
Slick her hair back, she looks 15.
Roses are red, CEO's are white, Patrick Mahomes says, the refs are always right.