The jokes
What did the Asian say to the Asian?
*Cough*
When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...
I went to the doctor's yesterday. I said, "When I touch my back, it hurts. When I touch my knee, it hurts. When I touch anything, it hurts!" 😣 What’s wrong with me?
Doctor: You’ve broken your finger.
What did Spock encounter in the Enterprise toilet?
The Captain's Log.
A student got a bad letter grade, so the next day he came back with his own letter grade in his backpack: an A-K47.
Memes
What did Sally say when she was stuck in the water with kelp?
"I need kelp! KELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP"
Do nothing about people falling down the stairs, it will keep happening.
Put razor blades on the stairs, it will be their last time falling down the stairs.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it didn't want to be argon.
What is a female gamer's favorite part of the controller?
The joystick.
School is a lot like boot camp. The only difference is that you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.
There were three boys on the top of a slide.
The first one went down yelling "gold!" and landed in a pot of gold. The second boy went down and shouted "pillows!" and landed in a heap of pillows. The final boy went down and shouted "weeeeeeeee!"
What is similar about the feelings of a girl's birth daddy and her new pimp daddy?
They both worry about how she will turn out!
Have you heard about the corduroy pillow cases? They've been making headlines.
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack! 🤣😂🤣
What is an astronaut's favorite part of a keyboard?
The SPACE BAR!
I love to play catch with my dad! He's never there to catch the ball, though.
What did the bottle of conditioner do on the toilet?
Shampoo.
How are a mouse and a bale of hay alike?
The cat'll eat it (the cattle eat it).
Why did Michael Jackson go to the movies? He saw there was minor nudity.
My name is Dan, I wear white Vans, I have a gun, get in the van!