The jokes
Why can't Asian people use a telephone?
Because they might wing the wrong number.
Why You should never poop on the floor in an Apple Store?
Because they don't have Windows. 🤢 🤣
Why did the gay man get raped?
He assed for it.
Why was the leper hockey game canceled?
It was because of a face-off in the corner.
What's the square root of 2001?
9/11
The snack that smiles back: Ball sack.
What's the difference between an orphan's parents and his boomerang?
One of them actually came back.
What is the difference between an orphan and a candle?
One is used.
What’s the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked.
What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Holocaust victim?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan?
The apples actually get picked.
I like my women how I like my golf score: low in the 80s and with a handicap.
The eyelash and the lipstick got into a fight. Soon they will make up.
Some of the best comedians mimic people. I mimic my shadow.
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?"
The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge."
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.
The lunch lady gave me only one carrot. I didn't carrot all.
Why didn't the drummer play?
Because he got a percussion.
What dinosaur loves music?
The velociRAPtor!
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Get in the van, or I'll kill you.