The jokes

Kid: What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?

Teacher: What?

Kid: Fruity Pebbles with water.

Teacher: Why water?

Kid: 'Cause his dad never came back with the milk.

What did the captured Germans say to the French in WW1?

"Verdun for."

What's the rarest gun you can find in Africa? A water gun.

What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?

"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"

Yo mama so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked her to move out the way.

Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:

Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.

When Helen Keller tries singing the national anthem at the Super Bowl,

Aaaaaaaaaa Aaaaaaaaaa Aaaaaaaaaa.

What did the Twin Towers say to each other?

Sorry if that offended anyone.

“I guess we are going down together!”

Hey, I just want to give a round of applause to Shooter McFly, single-handedly keeping the jokes section alive. Unappreciated, well, Shooter, one person here appreciates you, at least.

If you give a man a plane ticket, he will fly for a couple of hours, but if you push a man out of a plane, he will fly for the rest of his life :)

What do you do after fucking the loosest pussy ever?

Close the casket.

Yo mama so fat, she fell off the judgement room and broke the 7 layers of hell.

What is the difference between a dog pound and an orphanage?

In a dog pound, people actually want them.

What is the best joke of all time?

Feminism.

What is the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?

Usain Bolt can finish a race.

What’s the difference between the way you watch porn and I watch porn?

The windows we look through.

What is the worst part about making an Asian girl squirt?

She charges you for extra sauce!

How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?

My girlfriend went to Tokyo, and she died in the tsunami.

Since I was sad, my friend told me, "Don't worry, there's plenty more in the ocean."

I wish death was in the form of a woman.

That way, it would never come for me.