The jokes
Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?
Because orange is the new black.
Why do rappers love the gym?
'Cause they're all about them heavy bars.
How do you know someone from India is a good sniper?
They have a dot in the middle of the head.
Blind people driving on the highway would be the world's biggest, and shortest game of bumper cars!
Yo mama so fat, she stepped on earth and the earth cracked.
Memes
Took me about 15 seconds of staring in confusion to figure out how the illusion worked
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.
I told the ugly friend in my friend group that when they daydream, they shouldn't picture themselves because it will just ruin it.
What did John Cena say to the blind kid? "You can't see me."
How do you anger a democrat?
Don't tell him the truth.
What's white at the front and black at the back? A bus.
Back in my day, the chicken dance was where the hen got raped by an angry pack of roosters.
Why'd the girl fall off the swing?
'Cause she had no arms.
Knock, knock!! Who's there?
Not the girl.
I walked into a supermarket to get some ordinary clothes for the wife. Then I realized I was in a rape museum.
Do you know that no one finds Hitler a great guy?
But he really saved the History Channel.
She responds: “See that man over there with no arms? Tell him to clap.”
The kid replies: “But, Mom, I’m blind!”
Mom: “Exactly.”
Q) What’s the difference between a baby and a sweet potato?
A) About 400 calories.
An advantage of being an orphan: the teacher can't give you any homework.
What's the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?
At least someone chose Pikachu.
What show do orphans relate to? I'm going with "The Hunger Games."
Enough with the Hitler jokes. They make me Fuhrer-ious!