The jokes

Woman

NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?

'Cause it's a place to eat.

Song

What is the number one song played in Columbine High? Smells Like Teen Spirit.

Spy

If James Bond is the most famous spy, wouldn't that also make him the worst spy?

Chicken

My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board.

"No, I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken."

Yo Momma

Yo momma's teeth so yellow, when she smiled at traffic, all the cars slowed down.

Kobe

Just saw the news that Kobe passed. I guess there's a first for everything.

Buckle

1, 2 buckle my shoe.

3, 4 buckle some more.

5, 6 Nike kicks.

1, 2 buckle my shoe.

3, 4 open the door.

5, 6 Nike kicks.

Duck

Hello! Why did the duck cross the road? To prove he wasn't chicken!

Pepperoni

Why were the Twin Towers mad?

Because they ordered pepperoni and got plane. (Yes, it's "plain," shut.)

Amputee

A: What did the lawyer say to the amputee?

Q: You haven't got a leg to stand on.

Vegetable

My wife said she wanted steamed vegetables with her steak, so I put her father in the hot tub.

Girl

Been single for a couple of years and then I met this Muslim girl. She soon put the spark back into things.

Gay Man

How do you stop all homophobic heterosexual white men from using all public men's restrooms at a rest area?

Make sure that all public men's restrooms at the rest area are always occupied with gay men that have long and thick big cocks, regardless of skin color.

Gummy bear

Look for the Gummy Bear album in stores on November 13th, with lots of music, videos, and extras!