The jokes

I love when I could run through the grass and feel the wind on my face.

Then my mom told me to get off VR, and then I wheeled myself to her.

What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?

A. Condoms have evolved. They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.

What's the difference between Paul Walker and a fly? It's the sound they make when they hit the windshield.

I got fired my first day at the bank. This old lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

Did you know that they are making a movie about the four boys who lost their lives on the ice? They're calling the movie "The Lost Boys."

The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake, but his subjects showed up at his castle with a Christian instead.

And he said: "NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"

Girl, you are so ugly that when you look in the mirror, it shatters, more than your relationship.

What part of a vegetable can't you eat? The wheelchair.

One day, a little girl was texting her friend. "Guess what, Angelica!" said the little girl.

"What?" Angelica replied.

"I'm a guy."

What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?

The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.

Are you twinning today? Because The Rock would be shocked!

You were sad because your grandmother died.

The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.

Two windmills stand at a farm. One asks the other, "What is your favorite kind of music?"

The other windmill replies, "I'm a huge metal fan!"

Bro, the US keeps bullying the UK because the queen died, and do you know the meme "No Bitches?" Yeah, they put "No Queen" instead. And guess what? The UK replied this time and said, "No Towers?" I was shocked. UK's most devious lick.

Why did the orphan grow up to be a priest?

So he could be called Father Les.

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite childhood song?

The wheels on the chair go round and round.

What happens when a depressed kid tries to give a tree a high five?

The tree leaves him hanging :)

Once I asked Siri to tell me a joke, and it asked me, "What is the difference between a large pizza and you?" One can feed a family.

What's the most optimistic blood type? B+.

What disease causes wrinkled clothes? An iron deficiency.

A donut and depression are the same. Both have nothing in the middle, and the other is nothing is left if you leave it for too long.