The jokes
What's the easiest way to get straight A's? Use a ruler.
Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson has made a laudable, command decision to omit real firearms from his movie sets.
This being the case, he ought to produce, direct, and star in his next movie titled: “The Rubber Gun Squad!” 👌 😉
Why does the orphan drink hot coco with water?
Because his dad never came back with the milk.
The first rule of the Alzheimer’s club is...
Wait, where are we again?
What does Marcus Rashford say when he comes to the stadium?
I wanna kick some balls!
Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light!" she blocked the sun. Now we call her the moon.
Why couldn’t the principal call the orphan's parents?
Because he doesn’t have any.
Why was the piano waiting at the front door?
Because it forgot which key to use!
Why didn’t the cat cross the road?
Answer: Because it’s a scaredy-cat.
Why are women like KFC? After you finish with the thigh and the breasts, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.
A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...
Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???
Child: Both.
I remember the time Gordon Ramsay did an African food episode... too bad it was so short he couldn’t find any.
What happened to the chicken after he died? He did not say anything, so I don't know.
When the school shooter enters the classroom and it's the quiet kid's dad.
I asked the orphan why he was crying. He didn't really say anything.
Then I asked where are your parents? He cried more. I love working at the orphanage.
Why did the orphan fail all his classes?
He couldn’t do his homework.
What happened when the depressed person waved at a tree?
It left him hanging.
Your forehead is so big they call you the Leaning Tower of Forehead!
How do you make people mad? You use the wrong category. It makes them go red.
Shrek and the Hulk became politicians.
And they created The Green Party.