The jokes
So my depressed friend wanted to high-five the tree by the cemetery.
The tree left him hanging though.
We should stop.
Wait, but who is the orphan going to tell?
The boomerang!
Why did the man cut down the tree? Because it was there. 👨🪚🌲
Why didn't the man cut down the tree? Because it wasn't there. 😕🪚!?️
Why did the tree cut down the man? Because it was a bad tree. 🌲🪚😮
The peanut gained confidence and finally came out of its shell.
What did the hamster say to the penis? "Ha, you look just like me!"
Memes
Bob the builder took one look at you and said, "Nah, I can’t fix that!"
The joke about the giraffe’s neck is far too long to tell.
What flies around the school at night?
Alpha-bats!
Small word of advice: Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love, because they may be gone by then. You don't realize, but every second there is someone who dies, and it just could be your loved one.
"Bill? Bill?" Bill hears faintly in the distance.
Bill Nye snapped back into reality only to find he had peed all over the set.
What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can't hear an enzyme, but you can hear a hormone.
What is the difference between a frog and a trombone player?
The frog might be on his way to a gig!
I troll under different usernames. I'm a bit all over the place mentally.
🎵Penaldo Thrills🎵
C’mon c’mon turn the VAR on.
It's Penalty time and it won't be long.
Gotta dive and cry some more.
It's Penalty time and it won't be long.
‘Til I Hit the floor and dive alot.
Cry some more and dive alot. That all I need, because I got u my love, Penalty.
You're so ugly you make the blind kids cry 😭😭
Yo mama so fat, the Egyptians modeled the pyramids based on her.
A man walks into a bar, and there is a line of people waiting to punch him.
Yeah, that was the punchline.
The "p" in Africa stands for peace.
So, as a school shooter, I try to remember my ABC's. A, B, C, D, E, F, GUN!
And I basically stop at G, since no students ever speak to me about the rest.
Why did the chief go to jail?
Because he beat the eggs and whipped the cream!