The jokes

Mailman

The mailman came to drop the mail off.

Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.

Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."

Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."

Alligator

People were scared of the alligator because it ate everyone, so they called for the water god Aquarius.

He said "Sea ya later, alligator!" and he drowned.

Nuke

What do you call a kid with 15 nukes and a shotgun?

The final countdown.

Movie

Why could not the 11 year old watch the pirate movie?

because it was rated RRRRGGGG.

I am guessing you don't understand :(

Difference

What's the difference between Clark Kent and chicken noodle?

One is Super. The other is just soup.

Earth

Science teacher: How many times can the earth fit into the sun?

Me: As many times as the earth can fit into you.

Orphan

What did the one orphan say to the other orphan?

"Get in the Batmobile, Robin."

Baby

What's the difference between babies and onions?

You don't cry cutting up babies.

Twin Towers

Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?

Friend: What?

Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.

Russian

Why is the Azovstal Steel Plant important to the Russian?

Because it stores Zelensky's balls of steel!