The jokes

Jack and Jill went up a hill

To pick some dill.

Jack slid down the hill and hurt his leg of skill,

And he needed a painkiller pill.

If Adolf starred in the Room, his most iconic line would be “I did not Hitler! I did not!”

What’s the difference between prison and concentration camps?

At least you don’t die when you shower.

One day, little Johnny and little Susan were in bible class. Little Susan had been tired that day, so she kept falling asleep. The teacher said to little Susan, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a push pin, and she yelled, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher goes, "That's right, go back to bed." Then, the next thing the teacher asked was, "Who gave up their son for our sins?" Little Johnny poked her again, and she yelled, "God Almighty!" The teacher says, "That's right, go back to bed." The next question the teacher asked was, "What did Adam say to Eve after their 13th child?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt again. She yelled, "If you stick that thing in me again, I am going to break it in half and shove it up your own ass and see how you like it!"

How do you get a woman to give head? Force it down her throat and hold the back of her head. Make her gag for a little and then pull out. Do this over and over for 30 seconds or so. If she doesn't open up, choke her and force her mouth open.

Woman aren't human anyways... lol.

I would like to die like my Islamic father, in his sleep, but not like the rest of the people in the plane or those in those identical towers.

The towers ordered pepperoni but got plane.

I screamed "Jenga" today when watching the 9/11 documentary.

I gave my blind friend a piece of sandpaper. He said it was the most gruesome book ever.

Boy: The principal is so dumb!

Girl: Do you know who I am?

Boy: No...

Girl: I am the principal's daughter!

Boy: Do you know who I am?

Girl: No...

Boy: Good! *Walks away*

"Among Us" is a game (Skeld) where there is an imposter trying to hijack the ship and kill everyone. Does this sound similar to September 11, 2001?

What do you call a dolphin in the woods? Dead.

The orphan asked a genie to become Batman. Then he went home and saw his parents dead.

What's the difference between a peanut and a priest?

With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.

My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, “You’ll be next!”

They soon stopped though, once I started doing the same to them at funerals.

Why were the Twin Towers mad?

They ordered a pepperoni pizza, but only got plane.

WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals are hanging out eating lunch, which is a clown, you see, 'cause they're cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal, "Does this taste funny to you?"

I saw this kid sitting on the sidewalk and asked him where are his parents?

I love working at an orphanage.

Why were 9/11 victims so mad?

They ordered three pepperoni pizzas, not two planes!

When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye.

But when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, everyone loses it...