The jokes
What did Thanos say when he snapped his finger? Another one bites the dust.
Where do you find white people on a bench?
- The NBA.
Why did the Royal Wedding get more publicity than the SantaFe school shooting?
'Cause Royal Weddings don't happen every week.
Why can’t dinosaurs cross the road?
Because they’re dead.
An astronomer walked up to me and I was like, "Give me some space..."
Are you getting the funnies?
What is the best power that man can do? They can move the mountain with their tongue.
I don't understand the plane crash at 9/11. My dad was a great pilot!
Blood is red.
Bruises are blue. I forget the rest... um, I hate you...?
What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other?
LEAN BEEF!
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
The trom-BONE!
P.S. This joke is very non-original and bad.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because someone booted her in the face. 🤣🤣
What’s the rarest gun to find in Africa?
A water gun...
Michael Jackson was recently sighted at Target. Why? The sale was all boys' pants half off!
Jack and Jill went up the hill so they could fuck in the water. But Jack forgot to use protection and now they have a daughter.
People are like sharks; only the great ones are white.
How to treat someone who’s lesbian, gay, queer, transgender or bisexual?
The same way that you would treat anybody else, you homophobic bastard.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!”
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
My favorite species is a cheetah because
Ima cheet-ah on the test.
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
How do you punch 40 kids in the face at once? Hit them with a “Sandy Hook”.