The jokes

Grinch

Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought the Grinch was ugly until I saw you.

Lightbulb

How many LGBT supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?

The lightbulb is fine the way it is. Society just needs to change the way it looks at it.

Michael Jackson

How did Michael Jackson challenge the victim's parents? "Then why won't you slap my face, because I'm bad?"

Memes

Tea

In memory of Michael Jackson, Starbucks and various other establishments are introducing the Jackson tea. It's 50 year old water, with a 7 year old tea bag.

Cremation

Do you know what the secret is to have a smoking, hot body as a senior citizen?

Cremation.

Michael Jackson

Given that it's a major guarantee that little boys' underwear will be half off at Kmart thanks to the blue light specials, now you know why Michael Jackson likes to loiter around the store all day long.

Book

Have you heard of the book about the transgender whale?

It’s called "Maybe Dick."

Chess

"In chess, a queen can move in more directions than the king."

I mean, yeah, the chessboard looks like a kitchen floor, so-

Hairline

Your hairline is so long that when you finally found the length of it, you told someone and they said, "Don't give me your phone number."

Dad

Guy 1: Hey, can you stop making 9/11 jokes? My dad died during it.

Guy 2: Sorry, I will stop. What was your dad?

Guy 1: The pilot. He saw a KFC and wanted it, so, well, you know.

Tree

You were supposed to be born in the tree.

The sticks were your siblings.

Dentist

I went to see my dentist, and she warned me it was going to hurt. Then, she told me she was having an affair with my husband. Good news though...the cleaning didn't hurt.

Nun

Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?

She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.

Humour

What's the similarities between dark humor and cancer?

It's funnier when kids get it.

Boy

Who was the most successful transgender and transracial person in history?

Michael Jackson. He grew up a poor, black boy, and died a rich, white woman.