The jokes

Why did the coffee file a police report? -- Because it was mugged.

The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologized to the Olympic Committee after realizing that sailing and shooting were two separate events.

What's the difference between that bridge and my will to live? None, they're both too short.

Why can't the orphan play the game of life? They don't know what a family road trip is. 😆

What is the difference between a man performing anilingus on a woman and a man performing cunnilingus on a woman?

If a man is performing anilingus on a woman, it is not classified as heterosexual sodomy, you fucking idiot!!!!!

What is the difference between an orphan and Pikachu?

"Pikachu, I choose you!"

A teacher asked his students a math question.

"You have one dollar. Your parents give you five dollars. How much money do you have?"

After some thinking, about half the class raised their hands. The teacher called on a little girl in the front.

"One dollar!" she said.

Your mama is so fat that when she wears yellow, kids run after her thinking they missed the school bus.

What made me laugh?

The fact that my life is a joke."

A kid annoyed me the other day. I told him to shut up and go back to his parents. That's the last time I'm going to an orphanage.

The twin towers were like my parents... They never came back.

Did you know Princess Diana was on the radio the night she died?

To be honest, she was on the whole dashboard too.

Why aren’t orphan jokes funny?

The punchline isn’t apparent.

I got sent out of a library for putting a women's rights book in the fiction section.

The emo kid ran away after his parents asked why they took the barcode sticker off the Oreos.

Chuck Norris once put a plastic bag on his head, and the bag suffocated to death.

When you accidentally turn in your suicide note instead of your essay to the teacher, but she still gives you an A.

What did the rapist say to his victim?

"Go ahead, call the police. We will see who comes first."

What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common?

They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.

We need more women in the military! They can bleed for weeks and still not die!