The jokes

Why do orphans use water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

You're so fat, when you went on the scale it said "to be continued."

Why did the orphan kill someone? Because it would make him wanted.

Mom told me to get more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car.

What's the difference between me and a rope?

The rope doesn't hang from itself.

What is an orphan's favorite movie? Hint, not Home Alone. It's actually Batman, 'cause they are 50% the same as him.

What did the female rapist say at her hearing?

"Well that boy's dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say, 'my body my choice.'"

My cousin is in a wheelchair and wanted to battle.

So I went up a step and said, "It's over Anakin, I have the high ground!"

I was exploring the Dubai trophy factory when someone came crashing in. It was him, Pristiano Penaldo. He held the workers at gunpoint, forcing them to make him another plastic Mickey Mouse award or he will dive and sue them for assaulting him. Shame on you, pendu!

What's the difference between the righteous and a sinner?

You decide.

I was just chilling in the World Trade Center and got airplane wifi.

I donated a computer to the orphanage...

It didn’t have a motherboard.

Me: I have depression.

Someone: You should get out more! Go outside!

Me: *goes to the beach* Now it's a tropical depression.

Why don't Chinese people believe in Santa? Cause they make the toys.

When you meet your gf at the family reunion.

Why did the Titanic sink? Because your mom was on it.

I will never forget my grandpa's last words: "You still holding the ladder, son?"

Teacher: "Ok class, what animal jumps the highest?"

Kid: "A leopard."

Quiet kid: "No, it's emo kids. Some of them are still in the air."

Kid: "Broooooooooooo."

What do you call it when you rickroll someone in the LGBTQ?

You just got fruit-rolled.

What's the only type of abortion Republicans will never try to legislate against?

A school shooting.