The jokes
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they bought a pepperoni pizza, but they got plane.
You call your dad the sun because he is 90 million miles away.
A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says, "I think I'm a type-O."
Has anybody noticed that the New York City football team is the New York Jets? They sure know how to scare the Twin Towers.
What is something you can’t say in a superhero movie?
“Is it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.”
What is the similarity of a bomb and a baby?
When you drop them both, everyone screams.
My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.
Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...
What is the difference between an orphan and cotton candy?
Answer: The cotton candy gets picked.
What did the cow say?
Moo!
I'm actually against abortion.
Just go to the car wash and tell 'em you ate too much red pasta!
I rate you 9 out of 10, because I'm the 1 you need.
What's the difference between saying "bloody" in America and in the U.K.?
In the U.K., it's a swear word.
In America, it's a family reunion.
Why do Pirates say "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"?
First time out at sea, they prepare for battle and say to their commander:
"The canons be ready, Captain!"
"Are," says the Captain (correcting their grammar).
"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!" they all exclaimed!
What goes up and down but stays in the same place?
Stairs.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger, then it hit me :3
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was running from you, hehe.
Where are average things manufactured?
The satisfactory!
The crocodile just kept saying, "No!" He was in Da Nile!
A man walks into the taxidermist with two monkeys. The taxidermist asked if he wanted them mounted. The man said, "No. Shaking hands will be fine."
I couldn’t understand why the baseball was getting bigger and bigger.
Then it hit me.