The jokes
What's the worst thing that can happen to schools?
Quiet kids.
If someone burns to death, do they get a discount at the crematorium?
Why do cow milking stools only have three legs?
Because the cow has the udder!
What was the name of the Mexican that lost his car?
Carlos.
Yo mama is so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
Memes
I called the suicide hotline, and he suggested I draw on myself to distract myself.
I replied I'd get ink poisoning.
Wouldn't recommend, the police came.
"You raise me up to stand on mountains," said the dwarf pornstar on my penis.
What do you call a white kid at the back of the class?
School shooter.
Don't let mistakes drag you down. My dad made one mistake, but it ended up fulfilling the 5-year plan of heat energy generation in less than a millisecond.
Why don't orphans go to the shops? Because when their mum leaves, she's never coming back.
I know the voices in my head aren't real, but man, do they have some good ideas.
A little girl was sitting with some other kids. She thought to herself, "I want to have kids when I'm older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!" 🤣😂
One day my mom told me to take out the trash, and I did. The next day, mom asked me, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "A garbage truck took her." Mom started running to try and get the truck before it left.
My mom asked me if I was okay, so I replied, "I will be," and jumped out the window!
Comment and join Dumbledore's army in the community to give someone you hate permanent bad luck.
Why did the orphan fall out of the tree?
They thought their parents would catch them.
I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.
Why do orphans cry at insurance places?
They got offered the family plan.
What did the depressed kid do in P.E.? They played with the jump rope, but they used it the wrong way.
What's the difference between me and my pencil sharpeners? Nothing, we're both broken.