The jokes
Why did the orphan go to church?
Because they need a father.
Pick a number, syckkkkkkk, that’s the wrong number.
Get a calculator.
Okay, anyways, Sally has 69 bottles of boobs (because she is a cannibal that collects boobs) and her friend said it was 222 many. She got caught by the police and was taken to 51st Street. She got arrested for x8 days, so she was BOOBLESS.
I went to a feminist picnic the other day.
It was great, apart from the fact no one made any sandwiches.
There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.
Memes
Come, my children, to the bread cult!
It’s true women do make less money than men.
But it’s their fault because they choose the lower paying jobs. Men, for example, choose the higher paying jobs like doctor or lawyer. Whereas women choose the lower paying jobs like women doctor and women lawyer.
Why was the emo kid thrown out of the amusement park?
He kept cutting in line.
Why are the Twin Towers and genders so similar?
Because there used to be two of them, but it's offensive to joke about that now.
The S in America stands for safe.
Dad: Here you go son, all your toys have gone to the orphanage.
Son: Why, Dad?
Dad: You would be bored there if there was not anything to do.
What does a Rubik's cube and a man's penis have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Why can't people in wheelchairs be gay? Cuz you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
Walk up to the quiet kid and tell him to hang in there. Trust me, you won’t regret it.
(There was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato.)
Baby: Wait for me!
(Father tomato walks back toward the baby.)
(He squishes the child.)
Father: Ketchup!
Q: Why do clowns always get into fights?
A: Because they have the balls to.
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"
"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
Ever seen the show Naked and Afraid? That’s what I call hide-and-seek with my uncle.
What is the similarity between orphans and apples?
They both get thrown out.
What's the difference between a rubber and Michael Jackson? Nothing, kids touch them both.