The jokes

Jump Rope

What did the depressed kid do in P.E.? They played with the jump rope, but they used it the wrong way.

Orphan

What is the difference between apples and orphans?

The apples get picked.

Orphan

What's the difference between an apple and a child?

The apple gets picked.

Voice

I know the voices in my head aren't real, but man, do they have some good ideas.

Tire

What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?

One's a good year, and one's a great year.

Orphan

Why do orphans cry at insurance places?

They got offered the family plan.

Orphan

Why can't orphans go to the hospital? Because it is a family hospital. Sorry for the long break in between my jokes. I just had some family stuff, but I am back.

Mistake

Don't let mistakes drag you down. My dad made one mistake, but it ended up fulfilling the 5-year plan of heat energy generation in less than a millisecond.

Orphan

Why don't orphans go to the shops? Because when their mum leaves, she's never coming back.

Dad

A little girl was sitting with some other kids. She thought to herself, "I want to have kids when I'm older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!" đŸ€ŁđŸ˜‚

Sister

One day my mom told me to take out the trash, and I did. The next day, mom asked me, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "A garbage truck took her." Mom started running to try and get the truck before it left.

Laptop

I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.

Titanic

What do the Titanic and the Montréal Canadiens have in common? They both sank to the bottom of the Atlantic.

Orphan

Why do orphans prefer iPhones under the iPhone X? Because they have a home button.