The jokes

Why was the depressed man happy in food-tech?

He got to cut himself.

Sans: Zzzzzzzz.

Papyrus: SANS, WAKE UP!!

Sans: What is it, dude?

Papyrus: A human has fallen from the surface world!

Sans: And you gotta BONE to pick with 'em??

Sans: Zzzzzzzz

Papyus: SANS WAKE UP!!

Sans: What is it dude?

Papyus: A human has fallen from the surface world!

Sans: And you gotta BONE to pick with 'em??

Papyus: Grrrrr....

Sans: Oh come on that was a real RIBTICKLER.

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.

What's the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.

Using modern day technology you can produce music with a Tesla coil. I don't know if you heard it, but it is quite shocking and even electrifying. I can't tell if it is metal or techno, but it is more valuable than joules. It really amps up your blood pressure and has you saying watt the whole time. It is way better than current music.

What did the pornstar say to the unemployed homeless man?

Get a fucking job.

What’s similar between the twin towers and Kobe Bryant?

They both can crash down.

Why did the orphan become a prostitute?

Because they needed someone to call "daddy".

Why did the octopus cross the road?

To get to the other TIDE!!! 🤣🐙🐙

Why did the pirate kids ride the short bus to school?

Because they were retarrrrrrrrrded.

😥This is offensive, sorry: What did the king say to his royal steed? "You gonna start the dishwasher or what?"

Yo mama so ugly that when she was born, the doctor looked at her face, then at her butt and said, "Twins!"

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone chucked a brick at her.

Why did Sally throw a clock out the window? She had brain damage from the brick.

Once there was this Whichdoctor. He walked barefoot most of the time, which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, and the food gave him bad breath, which made him (wait for it) a Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.

I just finished my fourth round of baby back ribs. For some reason, everyone else at the abortion center is staring at me.

How do you circumcise a redneck?

Kick his sister in the chin.

There was a race between Lettuce, a faucet, and Ketchup. The lettuce was a-head, the faucet was still running, and the ketchup was trying to ketchup.

Why the f was my shooting joke removed? It was funny, and this is obviously a website for morbid humor. WTF, I mean, worstjokesever.com. Come on...

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. They come across an old shack with three burlap sacks. They each hop into one of them. The police come and kick the one with the brunette in it. She goes, "Mew, mew." The police say, "Oh, it's just a bag of kittens." Then they kick the one with the redhead. "Woof, woof." They think, "Oh, it's just a bag of puppies." Then they kick the one with the blonde in it. She goes, "POTATOES!!" And gets arrested.