The jokes
What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because the last one to have a dream got shot. (Martin Luther King joke)
What is the difference between a lesbian and a female prostitute?
If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
What's the difference between a sheet and a baby?
One of them is really loud when you iron it.
Which book takes an extreme turn and has an incredible plot twist?
- The math book. Suddenly letters appear in the calculations...
Memes
I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.
What do you call the worst joke ever?
Well, according to my mom, I am.
There are only 2 things I hate in this world:
1. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures. 2. The French.
What part of the vegetable is the hardest to eat? The wheelchair.
What has four legs and one arm? A doberman at the playground.
Why did the plane cross the road? To get to the other tower.
Kurt Cobain didn't mean to kill himself. He was just so high he thought the shotgun was a bong.
His lyrics are so ironic but so true. "I'm not coming back". "I swear I don't have a gun."
Your momma is so old she has been a waitress at the last supper.
A: Why are you so sad?
B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.
A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?
B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie.
What's the best response to a girl saying, 'What's up?'
'If I tell you, will you sit on it?'
What's the difference between an orphan and a vegetable?
The vegetable gets picked.
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
What's the difference between Al Qaeda and Ms. Frizzle? One flew a plane into the Twin Towers; one flew a bus into the school.
What do you get when you cross a bisexual male that is a catholic priest and a christian police officer that is a bisexual male and a born again homophobic heteroflexable male that is a christian nationalist who is in the closet a gay man that needs to be force out of the closet by any means necessary?
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."
"Why couldnât she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."
"Knock knock." "Whoâs there?" "Not Susie, sheâs still on the ground."
"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."
"Why couldnât Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."
"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."