The jokes
A woman just went through labor. She asked the doctor, "Was it a healthy delivery?" The doctor replies, "It wasn't delivery, it's DiGiorno."
Make sense of what I am saying, This is a LIE—and that's the TRUTH.
What am I?
Answer: a Riddle.
My parents told me I was born on the highway.
Apparently that’s where most accidents happen.
What did the skeleton say to the other? "Wow, that song, 'Spooky Scary Skeletons,' really does send chills down my spine!"
Why did piglet go to the bathroom?
To search for Poo.
Memes
Dear disabled people, Just go into the settings and enable it.
What’s the best part about sex with twenty eight year olds?
There are twenty of them.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a school shooter?
A school shooter actually makes an impact on its targets.
A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, "Why are you crying my son?" "My parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died." "It's just not your day today is it?" Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s dick.
Why did the orphan go to church?
To hear some "foster" parenting advice.
What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?
A pimple will wait until you're 12 years old to come on your face.
What has four legs and one arm? A doberman at the playground.
A daughter asked her mother, “Mom, how do you spell ‘scrotum’?”
Her mom replied, “Honey, you should have asked me last night—it was on the tip of my tongue.”
The lines on the pride flag look pretty straight to me!
What part of the vegetable is the hardest to eat? The wheelchair.
What is the difference between a Mexican maid and a Jewish maid?
One of them won’t clean the oven.
I recently learned that it's politically incorrect to talk about taking part in a school shooting.
Apparently the term "school photos" is more acceptable.
Why does the Queen have more mobility than the King in chess?
Because it's shaped like the kitchen floor.
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because the last one to have a dream got shot. (Martin Luther King joke)