The jokes

Yo mama is so fat that when she walks, she causes earthquakes. She is so big that she has her own zip code and gravity field. She is so heavy that she needs a crane to get out of bed. She is so obese that she can't fit in any clothes, except for a circus tent. She is so large that she blocks the sun and causes eclipses.

I got kicked out of the library for putting the Women's Rights book in the fantasy section.

My girlfriend dumped me today. Apparently, I don't stand up for her in fights. I don't care. She used to push me around all the time.

What’s green and orange and sits at the bottom of the swimming pool?

A baby with burst armbands.

I love the smell of my F5 key. It's very refreshing.

A tiny psychic escaped from jail, and the news said there a small medium at large.

Last time I talked to my girlfriend, she was yelling at me to put the hammer down.

What is the most dangerous mountain? Kilimanjaro.

I'm sorry for all the fish puns. I feel so GILL-ty.

Science flies you to the moon.

Religion flies you into towers.

A man and woman were having sex. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies, "Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."

The cheetah had a race with a lion, and the cheetah won.

The lion was like, "Why you always a cheetah?"

The cheetah was like, "Why you always lion (lying)?"

Imagine if on April first the government says, "Hahhaha, you all fell for it. Covid-19 is fake; we actually killed all those people, lol."

Déjà Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.

What is the highest number?

420.

What's the difference between a feminist and a pencil?

One of them has a POINT:)

If you want to SH but not in the sell farm way, come ooon.. do you even know what does that means?..

Two chinamen walk into a bar. The landlord says, "Why the same face?"

I was walking this hot girl home, then she noticed me, then the walk turned into a run.

I hate the term feminazi. It is offensive to real Nazis.