The jokes
What's the difference between a feminist and a pencil?
One of them has a POINT:)
If you want to SH but not in the sell farm way, come ooon.. do you even know what does that means?..
Two chinamen walk into a bar. The landlord says, "Why the same face?"
I was walking this hot girl home, then she noticed me, then the walk turned into a run.
I hate the term feminazi. It is offensive to real Nazis.
I was watching my daughter play at the park. A woman came up to me and asked which one was mine. I said I was still choosing.
Oh no, I feel bad for Stephen Hawking. He can’t get up the stairway to Heaven.
Why did the Orphan go to church?
To call someone father.
An old man walks to a busy restaurant. He tells the waiter what he wants and asks her, "Can I have a discount? I served in the war."
The waitress says, "Of course, and would you like that meal with sauce?"
"Nein," said the old man.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
You're the type of person to play "Girl on Fire" during a funeral.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
Apples get picked.
What's the best way to remove gum from hair?
Cancer.
About the guy who gave Stevie Wonder a cheese grater...
He thought it was the most violent book he'd ever read.
What do the initials NOW stand for?
(A.) National Organization For Women
(B.) National Organization of Whores
(C.) All the above
Answer:
Since the initials NOW can stand for anything, the correct answer is all the above.
I came home from school one day and told my cat a kid at school said I was an idiot and told me to go kick rocks, so I did, except I kicked him, not the rocks, and I called him the idiot for not moving out of the way.
Last night I had a dream I was swimming in lemonade... turns out I peed the bed.
What do you call a musician 👩🎤 who drinks soda and sings 🎤 at the same time?
A popsinger.
Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.
Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.
I told a diabetic boy to have sweet dreams, and he died the next morning.