The jokes
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms. "Knock knock." Who's there? Not Sally.
What did Trump rename the Presidential plane?
Answer: Hair Force One!
There was a kid named Buttitches, and his teacher was taking attendance. Then the teacher asked, "What is your name?" And he answered, "Buttitches." Then the teacher asked again, "What's your name?" and he replied, "Buttitches." Then a student yelled out, "JUST SCRATCH YOUR ASS ALREADY!"
What is the difference between a snow woman and a snowman?
Snowballs.
I tried to take a fog machine, but I took the wrong one. Needless to say, it was a big mist-take.
Memes
what did the woman do after meeting up with a rapist?
sue the dating site for matching her with him.
I would say a good joke, but all the good ones Argon.
Why are the Americans good at Rubik's cubes? Because they have a long history of separating colors.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
"Better lock 'em doors and turn the lights down low... Better turn 'em on, just stubbed my f***ing toe!"
I got kicked out of a library because I put a book about women's rights into the fantasy section.
What did the rope and the tree say to the kid?
Do you want to hang later?
An orphan is like marriage. The kid is always the reason for divorce. The kid is always the reason for his parents leaving him.
I went to the principal's office because I gave a deaf kid ear pods for his birthday.
I just got kicked out of the fucking library for putting the women's rights in the fiction section.
When the school shooter knocks on the classroom door, and the autistic kid opens it.
The difference between my life and a joke is that a joke has meaning.
A girl and boy are in bed after sex. The boy goes, “I can’t believe they got together after all that shit.” The girl says, “Who?” The boy goes, “My ass cheeks.”
What did the cow and bull do for their first date? - Dinner and a Moovie.
What's the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? Bigfoot has been sighted.