The jokes
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't make it to home.
That poor kid, he was fine until I bought him a mother's day card for his mum. The second he saw it, he burst out crying...
Question: Why did the blonde get excited after finishing a puzzle in 5 months?
Answer: The box said 3-5 years!
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because he got stuck in a crack.
Doctor: I've got good news and bad news.
Patient: What's the good news?
Doctor: I've got you flowers.
Patient: Awww, What's the bad news?
Doctor: They're for your grave.
Memes
Article 1: the Titanic is practically unsinkable.
Article 4: the Titanic sank.
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
Advertisement: "What's in your wallet?"
Me: "The same amount of money as there is my will to live... ;_)"
Student: "May I use the restroom, professor?"
Professor: "Oui oui."
Student: "No, professor, doo doo!"
Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
So they can get in the cast!
What room does a ghost not want to be in?
The living room.
You want to know the bad thing? Only 5 out of 6 people like Russian roulette.
The best joke in the world is me.
Don't say that you're not a joke. Jokes have meanings.
What’s the best part about having sex with 23 year olds... there’s 20 of them.
Knock knock. Who's there? A boy. A boy who? A boy who can't reach the doorbell knocking at your door.
A cow went into a pride of lions' territory.
Since that moment, he knew his life was on the stake.
When the police caught him stealing the batteries, he got immediately charged!
Why does the military recruit orphans?
Because homing missiles don’t target them.
What’s the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A whore sleeps with everyone at the party. A bitch sleeps with everyone at the party—except you.
I was laughing my ass off when the 12-year-old child realized the door to my basement was unlocked, and he didn't need to cannibalize his two friends in a desperate attempt for survival. 🤣🤣🤣