The jokes
I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.
"I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.
Why did the orphan get an iPhone X for his birthday?
Because it has no home button.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They just hold it in the socket and expect the world to revolve around them.
A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.
What did the short Chinese man say when he was called a dwarf? "Da fok yu sai tu meee."
Memes
Before the class starts
You look like the 0.01 percent of bacteria the Lysol didn't kill.
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
I don't understand why, when I went to the shooting range today, the police came. Like, bro, I always go to elementary schools.
Why don’t midgets fight? They walk away to be the bigger man.
Q. What's an orphan's favorite South Park episode?
A. The anti-Family Guy episode.
If all your clothes were stolen, what would you go home in?
The dark.
Your mom is so fat that when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed, but the sidewalk cracked up.
I saw a Cuban prisoner. I asked, "Why are you running from the cops?" He said, "I'M FREE AT LAST!"
Two wind turbines were standing on a hill.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other one says, "I'm a big metal fan."
What did the orphan say to the other? "Quickly Robin, to the Batmobile!"
what did the suicidal kid say to the tree?
don't leave me hanging.
What do you call two monkeys who share the same Amazon account? Prime mates.
What did the orphan ask Santa for? A good family.
What are the two hottest cities in the world? Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
What do emos and the Lorax have in common?
They both hang with trees.