The jokes

Bear

So here's the joke. A bear walks into a bar and sits down and then....then..........then................................zzzz

Emo kid

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a bulb?

None, because they all cry in the dark.

School Shooter

When the school shooter breaks into your classroom, so you try to say goodbye to your Roblox gf, but then the shooter's phone goes off.

Orphan

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

Apples are actually picked.

Tour Guide

As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.

High-five

The depressed kid at school tried giving the tree a high five.

It left him hanging.

Orphan

Why can't orphans never run all the bases in baseball? Because they can never make it home.

People

Why were the people in the Twin Towers such good readers?

They went through 110 stories in 10 seconds.

Orphan

What's an orphan's favorite part in the Wizard of Oz?

When Dorothy says, "There's no place like home."

Cow

What did the baby cow say to the mommy cow when he saw a hamburger?

"Mommy, is that Uncle Joe?"

Helen Keller

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They put doorknobs on a wall and said, "Open the door."

Eye

What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?

I wanna sock you in the eye so bad!

Dog

Why did the dog join the marching band?

Because he had his trum-bone.

Religion

Science can fly you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.

Nightmare

Why do black people only have nightmares?

Because we shot the last one that had a dream.