The jokes
What's the difference between my car and a school bus? A school bus takes them back home.
An orphan was running down the road. A car pulled up and said, "Get in." So the orphan got in and said, "Where are we going?" The kidnapper said, "I'm taking you to my house." The orphan replied, "OML, ARE YOU ADOPTING ME!?"
What is the difference between preschools and my basement?
Little kids come out of preschool.
A homeless man sits in front of a Home Depot. A man walking out of the store hands him some money and asks, "Why are you in front of the Home Depot?" And the man says, "Isn't it obvious? Hoping somebody accidentally drops the house they just bought."
I can explain Superman and Batman movies in one sentence.
Two orphans fighting in the rain.
Memes
For Da Boys
Is it still stand-up comedy if the comedian doesn't have legs?
Why did the Japanese NOT shoot down the American plane that was dropping atomic bombs?
From what their eyes saw, it was a piece of rice.
How does a cannibal start a wedding reception?
He toasts the groom.
I love eating pussy. That’s why the animal shelter is always my go-to for a good meal.
I took an hour-long shower. The German officers were looking at me kinda scared.
What do you call a cleaning skeleton?
The Grim Sweeper.
Why did the hooker quit her job?
She had a nut allergy.
Yo mama so fat that she was born on the 3rd, 4th, and 5th of March.
What's the difference between intelligence and apathy?
I don't know! I don't care!
Why wasn't the infant's entire body found?
Because the limbs are scattered around 43°17.7355’N, 113°58.4205’W.
I was told to burn calories, so I threw your mom in the fire.
What is the worst comedy for disabled people?
Stand-up comedy!
Parents: "I'm taking your toys to the orphanage." Kid: "Why?" Parents: "So you don't get bored there."
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
what's the worst thing to say to an emo?
if you don't succeed the first time, try try try again.