The jokes

Alligator

Why did the alligator see a crocodile?

Because it ate too many humans, and he was sick.

Cow

What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?

Mooooooo my secret is that it's pasture bedtime, but not pasture bedtime!

Orphan

If you're ever bored, hit an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Time

Say hi to outer space. Hi, now say how are you doing to the moon. Hi, how are you doing? Why are you wasting your time? XD lol

Memes

Mama

Yo mama’s so fat, she wore the equator as a belt! Ooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Life

Person: Hey, do you know what's the best thing in life?

...

You do realize that I said nothing, right?

Me: Exactly :)

Lamborghini

Q: What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?

A: A Lamborghini isn't a very fun hobby.

Volcano

Did you hear about the volcano that was accepted into Cambridge?

It was a decision on the number of degrees it holds, which is a lot, because volcanoes have lava if they're active. And ours was.

Sex

When you’re having the best sex in your life and your grandma says, “I’m not dead!”

Priest

What's the difference between Axne and a priest??

One waits till you're 13 to come on your face.

Fruitcake

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Yull.

Yull who?

You'll be sorry if you eat all the fruitcake!

Fire Alarm

So the fire alarm went off, but as soon as they walked out of the classroom, the only fire they saw was out of a gun.

Hairline

Inela, your hairline goes so far back I remember seeing it in the stone age! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Oreo

It took me years to figure out the Oreos served in Lunchables are knock offs. On the cover it says “Chocolate Crème Cookies.” I’ve believed this lie for as long as I can remember. Unless they were real back then? I don’t even know at this point. They sure as hell aren’t real now!