The jokes
Do you think the founder of Dunlop was a retired tree surgeon or a hairdresser?
Me: Mom, if Adam and Eve are white, then how were slaves made?
Mom: Well, Eve and the monkey fucked each other.
Me: Oh, okay.
Goes to school.
Teacher: How were humans made?
Me: Eve fucked the monkeys.
Teacher: 😑
Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In Freezer"?
Answer: Because it's where EVERYONE GOES to "Hang Their Meat!"
Why can't Asians play cricket?
Because they will eat the ball.
What did the plane say to the twin towers?
Wanna play Jenga?
Memes
Yo mama so fat, when she went on the weighing scale, it said "to be continued."
Why did the first boob say to the 2nd boob: "Between us, I have to take a tit."
The power of yeet.
I can't do this - YEET!
I'm not good at this - YEET!
I'm not old enough - YEET!
Roses are red, I'm off the grid,
John Cena accidentally says "you can't see me" to a blind kid.
An apple and an emo girl fall from the same height in a tree. Which one hits the ground first? The apple, cuz the noose stops her.
What is the best joke in the world? Women’s rights.
I rate the Twin Towers 9/11, very stable buildings.
What did the fork say to the spoon?
Nothing, forks don’t speak, silly!
Apparently, rich people have the smallest penises. It makes sense why Bill Gates called it "MicroSoft."
What's the difference between me and you?
Nothing, the fudge you expected ni-
Your hairline is so far back even The Rock Johnson couldn't find it.
What's the difference between an orphan and cotton?
Cotton gets picked.
Knock knock. Hus dare? Luke. Luke who? Luke through the window and you'll see.
What do you call the middle of a penny?
A center (get it? Cent-er).
I took my girlfriend to the beach and a marine biologist thought she was a beluga whale!