The jokes

Did you hear they’re making an Elmo toy to appeal to the Tourette’s crowd?

I believe it’s called the “Tic Me Elmo.”

I only wanted to ruin the 69 jokes.

"Being broke is a disease, stay the fuck away from me."

Why did hockey wookie slap kissing Missy in the face? Because Huggy didn't get a kissy from Kissy Missy.

Check out my new song. It’s called “Nlggas in the hood,” and it’s really good, so go listen.

I read the Brothers Grimm books, then I see a black figure reaping about.

I realized someone has died, but I don't do anything about it. I continue to read, and that's when I realized that I was one of the characters, in which at the end, dies.

What’s the only reason Emos drink?

To get hungover.

What’s the best thing about midgets??

They don’t need to bend while giving blowjobs.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?

Apples get picked.

Why can’t orphans go to the hospital? The front desk always asks, “Where are your parents?”

My boyfriend and I were playing baseball last night with some of our friends. Halfway through the game we took a break and he asked me to hold his balls for him whilst he went to the toilet.

All our friends were shocked when I went into the boys' bathroom with him.

What did the dinosaur say to the man?

It didn’t, they're dead.

What's the difference between a knife and me?

One has a point.

I was driving a car and a fat person was crossing the street. When I swerved my car to miss her, I ran out of gas.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple tray? The apple tray gets picked.

What does Joyce from the show "Stranger Things" say when she has a flat tire? "Wheil, wheil, wheres wheil?"

How did the guy rob the water park?

He used a water gun!

LOL 💦🔫💧🌊

I looked this quote up, but it really is a good thing, just for starters.

"Sometimes you will never know the VALUE of a moment until it becomes a MEMORY."

Do I like playing Russian Roulette? Gun to the head, I'd have to say no.

What's the sharpest thing in the world?

A fart... it goes straight through your pants without leaving a hole.