The jokes
Why did Hittle kill himself? Because he wanted to buy a car, but then Hittler farted.
POV: me telling a joke.
My dad: nobody likes a smart-ass.
Me: Nobody likes a smart-ass until the smart-ass finds a cure for cancer.
Roses are red, the grass is greener, when I see you, I play with my wiener.
Hey, Patrick, what am I??
Uh, stupid?
No, Iβm Texas!
Whatβs the difference??
ππππ
I put the Christmas balls in my sack.
Memes
Why do they call it Ovaltine?
The jar is round, the mug is round, they should call it Roundtine.
What did the Chinese guy say to the Italian guy?
εζ§ζηθ₯θ΄ (translate it)
What's the difference between an umbrella and a tree?
I don't know.
Yo mama so fat, she fell over. Nobody laughed, but the ground cracked up.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza but it came plain.
Did I tell you I finally got my wife to scream during sex? Yeah, you should have heard her the other day when I walked in on her.
Why canβt fish play basketball?
'Cause they are scared of the net.
What's black and at the top of the staircase? Stephen Hawking after a house fire.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?
The emo girl still bleeds.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.
What did the Titanic say to the people as it went down?
"I now nominate you to the ice bucket challenge!"
Why did the sick juice tree go to the hospital? Because it needed lemin-ade (not the cool type of sick, the one where you are in the hospital). Lemin-ade 1st ade.
You're so fat, when you went on the weighing scale, it said "to be continued."
What's still together after all the sh*t they've been through? Your butt cheeks.
What's the best way to get an emo out of a tree?
Cut the rope.