The jokes

Fart

What do you get when the queen farts a noble gas?

What do you get when a dino farts? A blast from the past.

Why are ninja farts so dangerous? They are silent but deadly.

Abortion

Did you know hospitals have an entire wing for free dead babies? It’s called the abortion center.

Chicken

Why did the chicken cross to the U.S. from Mexico?

To get to the U.S., but he had to show his papers first.

Girl

A 14 year old girl was walking back home late at night, then a man was following her. An hour later, she got back home not only had she lost the stranger, but also her virginity.

Lubricant

Why is Fairy's washing up liquid the best form of lubricant for anal sex?

No more tears.

Ass

What does "A" say to "ss"?

"We are the perfect couple. We make Ass."

Occupation

What is white, blue eyed, blonde haired and somehow was made in Galilee during the Roman occupation?

An Italian Renaissance painting that was carbon dated.

Reason

Conservatives hate Barack Obama and transgender people for the same exact reason.

They hate change.

Idiot

Why did the idiot post so many 9/11 jokes?

Answer: Because his mom is a whore!

Girl

Flat girls be like, "I will have breasts in the future." This is to all the flat girls: you will never get it.

Tower

What is the difference between 9/11 and Clash Royale, lol?

Clash Royale still has a tower.

Hairline

My little sister that is 10 is so ugly her hairline can't even be found by Dora the Explorer.

Orphanage

I saw a kid on the curb. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at the orphanage!

JFK

You know what would be the best last thing to say before you die? "No, you certainly can't." JFK's assassin certainly can!

Ghost

I'm thinking about telling my daughter there's a ghost in the house. At least then I can wear a bed sheet at night and fuck her without her being suspicious.