The jokes

Three men walk into a bar. You would think the 3rd one would have ducked! 😅

Three guys walk into a bar; the fourth one ducks.

You're American when you go in the bathroom, and you're American when you come out, but what are you when you are still in the bathroom? European (you're-a-peein').

Yo mama so fat, it took the Flash 40 years to run around her.

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger before my eyes.

Then it hit me.

I bought a new shotgun the other day. Want to know what I called it?

Kurt Cobain's microphone.

Why did the Mafia cross the road?

Forget about it...

Who wants to hear the biggest joke ever?

My life.

What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?

The wheelchair.

What is a cow's favorite dance move?

The milkshake.

I saw a cyclist in the road today, so I ran over him and he said in a robotic voice, "SHUTTING DOWN!"

Sailors are coming onto the boardwalk and are met by Colonel Sanders. He asks them, "What is your occupation?" They respond, "We are seamen." So he says, "Well, you better wash up 'cause I'm finger lickin' good!"

I put my fish on a leash so I could teach him to walk. Then I took him out for a walk. Then, when I put him back in the tank, he stopped moving.

Why did the pony have to gargle? Maybe because he was feeling a little hoarse.

Why did the roach talk to the man? To die.

What did the 90s rocker Space Engineer in multiplayer Miner yell at the Troll stealing his stuff?

"Hey! give me my Nickelback!"

What did the house wear to the party? A dress.

A jumping cable walked into a bar and the bartender said,

"I will serve you, but don't start anything!"

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger, then it hit me.

During the holidays in the fruit bowl, the orange walked up to the banana and said, "Berry Christmas!"