The jokes

What does an emo kid and pizza have in common?...... The pizza doesn’t cut itself.

There were two sisters. They said they were supporting nine eleven, so I shot one of the sister's kneecaps, and the other sister got shot in the head.

What's the difference between my wife and her sisters?

Her sisters ate hotter, and I married the grenade.

When you get home and see your parents with your grades in their hands.

Twenty minutes later, they're slapping you with the belt.

Kid: Dad, what's a dark joke?

Dad: Well, you see that guy over there? Tell him to wave.

Kid: But Dad, I'm blind.

Dad: Exactly, also the dude had no arm.

What’s the difference between my mom and the Twin Towers?

My mom got hit by two cars. The Twin Towers got hit by two planes.

Why did Stephen Hawking die? Because he got bummed too hard in the shower.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apples get picked.

Q: What’s the difference between orphans and apples?

A: Apples get picked.

I once put the Bible in the fiction section.

I made a website for orphans. The thing is, there was no homepage.

Why do orphans hate the internet?

Because on the internet, people have families.

Who can jump the highest?

Emo kids, some are still in the air.

Why didn't the 6th of Jan go well? Cause the shitty Trump supporters didn't carry out the damn job correctly and let the president down. Also, hang Mike Pence!

I just threw some cigarette butts on the ground while I was driving.

I wasn't clean after this.

My balls are so purple that I use them as crayons, and I am not talking about the balls you play with. I am talking about the boy balls.

Yo mama is so fat, the country of Russia isn't big enough to house her!

What falls quicker off a tree? The leaf or the emo?

The leaf, because the emo is stopped by the rope.

What's the difference between Jesus and Christmas tree lights?

They can both flash.

A guy says to his dog, "Where are you?" The dog was actually dead, bro.