The jokes

Why did the bone go on a blind date? He was bonely.

Alright, my sister is ALWAYS dancing randomly all the time, and what I say is, "Go get you boyfriend, dude!"

The reason I'm gay is because I'm scared of getting cooties.

I just came up with a really good deaf people joke! The great thing is that they won't be able to hear it!

Two sticks of butter walk into a butter bar. One says to the other, "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?" He replies, "Sure, dis my butter from another utter."

Q) What did the airplane say to the little boy?

A) Nothing, airplanes don't talk!

Why did the skeleton not tell jokes? It lost its funny bone. Maybe you should try putting it back.

The nearest approximation to a perpetuum mobile would be a Swabian chasing a Scot because of money.

(Swabians are the Scots of Germany regarding finances.)

Jack and Jill ran up the hill to pop some pills,

And Jill said, "Jack can do her without here will," and Jack's penis was still.

Why do brides wear white?

So they match the kitchen appliances.

What did the grape say when he got squished? Nothing, he just let out a little wine.

Did you hear about the guy who made knock-knock jokes? He won the Nobel Prize.

Me: Mom, I think I need to go to the hospital.

Mom: OMG, why son?

Me: I don't know what's wrong, but every time I close my eyes, I can see.

Think about it, then spread LMAO.

Stephen Hawking will be greatly missed for the time he walked this Earth.

What kind of punch hurts a kid the most?

A sandy hook.

What did the guy with no teeth say to a blind guy... How many fingers am I holding up?

Muslims don't need weed, they've got the Koran.

You burn that sh*t and you're gonna get stoned.

How does a butcher keep his tent up in the wind? Steaks.

What is the skeleton's favorite car?

A Zam-bone-y.

What are the similarities between an American teen and an old Muslim man?

They both choose who they want.