The jokes

What's the difference between your mom and a fat female cow...

A female cow doesn't have a dick.

What does having sex with a woman and cooking an egg in a skillet have in common?

Both end with a loud annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean the shit up.

I was listening to WAP in my car with my four-year-old cousin, and she asked why they don't fix the holes in the house.

Then my fucking boyfriend, what a hoe, was and pointed to me. I pushed him out of the car, and my other boyfriend took the front seat.

VOTING QUARTERFINAL 2: LIKE: When the school shooter knocks on the classroom door and the autistic kid opens it.

DISLIKE: When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team, but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”

Vote for the better joke.

Why did the emu cross the road? Because it was the chicken's day off. Yeah, I hate myself, man.

What do you call a dwarf that fell into a cement mixer?

A wee hard man.

Yo mama's such a milf, she deserves a tongue punch in the fart box.

Why are orphans so scared of the dark?

The dad can't check the closet for them.

All of the sudden, if you're Republican, you're racist, and Communism is a symbol of freedom? What happened to the proud men our founding fathers were, damn it!

What movie do orphans hate? The Fast and the Furious.

How do I get out of the toilet seat? Help me, please. I'm very stuck!

Boy/girl: I love you.

Me: I love me too! But sorry, my mom said I can't date trash. Go back to the trashcan.

The boy/girl: I- *Is depressed*

Teacher: Students, tomorrow bring your parents to the open house.

Student one orphan: I don't have any.

Student 2: What is the difference between you and an escaped prisoner?

Student one orphan: What!

Student 2: The prisoner gets picked.

I liked the chocolate mousse cake joke.

What's the best thing about Covid-19? It gets into any kid.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

What happened to the police that crossed the road?

They solved a murder involving the nut case.

What is the Mexican police number?

9 Juan Juan.

Did the leaf or the emo fall out of the tree? The leaf won. The rope stopped the emo.

Brother: Your nuts!

Sister: What do you mean? You're the one that has the nuts!