The jokes
Why did the robot eat a lightbulb?
'Cause he was in need of a light snack!
One of my earliest memories is seeing my mother's face through the oven window as we played hide and seek, and she said: "You're getting warmer!"
The toughest job I ever had was when I was selling doors, door-to-door.
Looking at me is like being on your phone, in a car, on a long trip. You're fine for the first 10 minutes, then after that you feel sick.
So you see all these Baby Yoda memes when you go online, But you have never really seen the show with him.
He is just SOOOO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As a kid, I was made to walk the plank.
Because we couldn't afford a dog.
Guys, let's make this post have the most comments on the whole website!
Put more comments.
I just got off the phone with Kristen Stewart yesterday. She said I was invited to her cookout this Friday. I said I'll come by and bring some drinks, like wine, beer, and liquor, so we can get our freak on all night and drink some cherry wine until daybreak ends.
The only people who do yo mama jokes wish they had a mom.
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.
You're so short that you don't have to open the front door to get inside the house.
One day a mom who looked like a pig broke the car down.
Who were the fastest readers? 9/11 victims. They went through 95 stories in 10 seconds.
I told my sister that when you go to bed with an itchy butt, you're going to have smelly fingers in the morning, and I've never heard her laugh so hard in my life.
How many babies does it take to paint the walls red?
Depends how hard you throw them.
What's the difference between Madeline Mikan and a boomerang?
Boomerangs come back.
"I swear I'm the real Gwen! I swear on my life!"
What’s the best Marvel villain song EVER?
It Was Agatha All Along!!! *gasp* And I killed Sparky, too. *laughs manically*
Look, it's the dead center of town!
What did the people do to the deceased after tests?
They bari-um.