The jokes
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
Really, there is an answer, and he never made it across, so...
Why did the stick fall?
Because he is a stick man.
I just bought a book about lamps...
So I can do some light reading over the weekend.
Q: If there were two moo cows walking down the street, where would they be going?
A: Home to see their mama!
What do you call the worst feeling ever?
Drinking Big before Mini. :)
Why couldn't the cowboy go to the rodeo?
He forgot his calves!
When you get to feel a dick in you, then suck bro, all your stress [goes] out the window.
Don't make a person look a fool when you are the real one!
Why did the chicken cross the road? To become roadkill.
Why is there a middle school?
Because the kids that go there are middle class families.
Does anyone know the song that goes like:
Nananana na na na, nananana na na na, nananana na, na na, na, na na na?
I've heard stories of my mother. She was a teenager and left me in the blender, but luckily the power cut out, like at the orphanage.
What is always in front of you but can’t be seen?
Answer: The future.
What do you call multiple quintuplets that look the same?
Naruto's mom.
What is the difference between a tall kid and an orphan? One is tall enough that their parents can see them.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his mom said, "Ven bakac."
I asked my teacher if I needed to be in the special ED class, but she said I don’t eat enough vegetables.
"You think THAT'S bad?!? Remember the time I was in Paris with Donny de Francovich?"
I think the pollen count is a difficult job. Especially if you have hay fever.
I was watching the London Marathon one year, and I saw two runners in costumes. One of them was dressed a chicken and the other dressed as an egg. I thought: "This'll be interesting."