The jokes
The umpire and the catcher were having a conversation. The runner slid into home, “I slid into this conversation.”
I would tell you a joke about meat, but the stakes are too high.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why can’t mental hospitals have Halloween?
Because the patients thought the pumpkins were them. I tried.
Damn, the terrorists from CS:GO really do be learning to fly.
TJ's hairline so far back you still couldn't find it when the Devil was alive.
The way ladies cheat nowadays is very alarming.
She might give birth to twins, but each twin having a different father. 😭
"Chelsea is the most consistent team.
One win in August, one win in September, and one win in October; it's just like a menstrual cycle.
If they don't win in November, just know that they're pregnant." 😅
What's worse than dedicating your life to build back the towers? Doing it and getting terrorized for it...
Today there was a line to punch me.
Yeah, that was the punch line.
I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.
Why does the Tower of Pisa lean?
Because it has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
If you have a pair and it runs around the street, what do you call it? A running pair.
What did the seal say to the shark?
"Are you seal-iously going to eat me?"
A big guy told the small guy, "Do you want a little pill because you look ill, or should I smash you?"
Who knows? Maybe the end of the world will be made in China too.
What is the difference between a Walking Dead and you? He doesn't feel pain.
What did the lettuce say to the carrot?
"Lettuce be friends!"
When was the last time you could see your whole body in the mirror?
Yo, your hairline looks like the letter “O”.