The jokes
Did you hear that the cameraman got arrested? He shot a film.
A snake walks into the bar... the bartender says, "How the heck did you do that?"
I was with my friend atom the other day. He’s pretty tall . . . Compared to you.
Why do people hate Velma now?
Because she joined the Dark Side.
What do you call a guy that lies a lot?
The president.
Memes
What is the definition of "Endless Love"?
Answer: Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder playing "Tennis"!
Yo, hairline start at the back of yo head.
The Kardashians are just hyper realistic Barbies.
When you're in the World Trade Center and you connect to airplane wifi.
When you're in the World Trade Center and you connect to airplane wifi.
I pulled a prank on my friend the other day. I painted a portrait of the backrooms blueprints while he was sleeping. Still had some extra space.
The first time you have to do a full body workout in chess.
Why did the orphan stop playing baseball?
Because baseball has a home, and an orphan does not.
Laugh now.
Is it a bird? Is it a plane?
I don't know, but it's coming for the towers.
Why did the sped kid get expelled?
Because he was tardy.
Husband: My wife and I went to the beach today.
Husband: She was wearing a blue wetsuit.
Husband: The second we entered the beach,
Pedestrians: "TSUNAMI! TSUNAMI!"
2001 called... they hit the Pentagon.
I saw a girl with blond hair. She was sexy and beautiful. I thought she was the most hottest girl I ever saw, so I ran up to her feeling hot.
I am the Titanic, and I'm looking for a place to crash tonight.
When you have erectile dysfunction, it could be expressed as the Leaning Tower of Pisa.