The jokes

Why didn't the dog want to play football??

'Cause he was a boxer!

I've been looking for my parents for years.

For the life of me, I can't remember where I hid their bodies.

The emo was having computer problems because they had troubleshooting.

Who are the fastest readers?

9/11 victims.

Why did the orphan rob a bank?

For he can be wanted.

I was on a website doing homework, and there was this funny a** commercial banner saying: "Eat a bag of Dick's!" It was the funniest sh*t ever!

What’s the difference between a dad and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.

What's the quickest way to get to a girl's heart?

What?

Chidori. :)

Why is a group of Uchiha not called the Sharingang?

Why?

Because they're all Sharing... GONE :)

What did the skeleton pull out from behind his ear?

Nothing. Skeletons don’t have ears.

So there is someone who doesn't know what an armadillo is.

He then sees one. He asks it a question, "What are you?"

The armadillo replies, "Armadillo."

The person says: "What's a dilo?"

Russia is worse than the USSR.

Russia is just a bonerless USSR.

According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form contains only four lines:

1. What was your income for the year?

2. What were your expenses?

3. How much have you left?

4. Send it in.

From now on, we’re gonna call shitting the bed an “Amber Alert.”

Mommy, mommy! Are we bank robbers?

Shut up and pass me the note.

There were ten in the bed and the little one said... "Roll over..."

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?

At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.

I went 80 mph in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screamed, "Am I hallucinating?"

Yo mama so fat, when she got ran over, the van did a 360 flip to Mars!

Alright class, the person who answers my next question gets to go home.

Then a guy throws a pencil. The teacher asks, "Who threw that pencil?" "I did, I get to go home."