The jokes
What's the second hardest thing in the morning?
The first hardest thing. š
So, I remember growing my own peanuts really well. There's one that's larger than the others. I can't keep my eye off of it.
I'm scared that it moves at night.
I'm being serious. I literally can't keep my eye off it.
You are the gayest.
You're so ugly the densest told you to lay face down.
Why was the orphan so famous?
Because when they asked him go big or go home, he only had one option.
Why canāt the orphan play baseball?
It canāt find home.
What did the weed say before he got on the escalator?
If you were a fruit, you would be a fineapple.
If you were a vegetable, I would visit you in the hospital.
How many emissions does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
What's the difference between an American and a computer?
Americans don't have trouble shooting!
Dad: Are you gay?
Kid: Yes.
10 days later.
Kid: Iām going to my girlfriend's house.
Dad: I thought you were gay?
Kid: Whatās wrong with you? Heās the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.
Dad: Donāt swear and okay, bud.
What do you call an emo kid standing outside the mall?
Anything, he'll cry no matter what you say.
What's the difference between a wanted person and a wanted handicapped person? The handicapped person wasnāt last seen on foot.
How many Emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they sit in the dark crying.
None, they sit in the dark cutting their wrists.
Why canāt orphans tell these jokes?
Because they're fun for the whole family to hear.
An orphan asked his caretaker where his parents are, and the caretaker said, "A place called home."
Opinions are like orgasms. The only one that matters is mine and I don't care if you have one.
Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road?
To get to the dark side.
What's the best way to tell your friend you hate them? Option 1: Kill them. Option 2: Walk away. Option 3: Kill each other.
Me: Why can't I just kms and leave them the pain?
My mom is telling me to get off Friday Night Funkin' or she will slam my head against the keyboard: weherhrqqkh[qokqho[krq3[t4i2-4q43q343q44334q43.