The jokes
Yo, your hairline so messed up God said your hairline on the cross getting hit on that cross.
The way to stop school shootings is to give children an RPG.
What's the most expensive haircut you can get? Chemotherapy.
A magician walks up to a girl and asks her to feel the rabbit in the magician's hat.
The magician asks the girl to rub the rabbit. The girl notices the rabbit sticks up and drools; the hat was covering the hips.
What is a boxer's favorite part of a joke? The punchline.
I felt bad for a dog, and I looked to my left, and there was an orphan, and I said I will make you a website, and I said there won't be a homepage.
Your mama's so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it said, "To be continued."
Were you born on the highway? That is where most accidents happen.
Why did the Twin Towers go to Uber Eats?
Because they wanted something plain.
Teacher on school bus, "Everybody sit down now, the bus is about to start."
Ben: "I’m not going to sit down. I don’t want to."
Teacher: "You have to, or else you have to get off the bus."
Teacher: "*stands up*"
Ben: "Then you should get off the bus 'cause you're not sitting."
What keeps an emo kid from hitting the ground?
The rope.
"Lord of the Rings" is about a group of white Americans taking nine hours to return jewelry.
You're so fat that people say you're the biggest bird!
What’s the difference between an emo and a pack of Oreos? The emo’s barcode gets longer every day.
If a Muslim loses his Faith... Does he throw in the Towel?
What's black and found on top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
Math Teacher: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"
Student: "A drinking problem."
Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
College is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you, or they'll send your kid back.
I was at the bank yesterday.
A lady asked to check her balance, so I pushed her over.