The jokes
If an emo and a leaf are in a tree, which one will fall first?
Answer: The leaf. The rope saved the emo.
I’ll never forget the first time we met, but I’ll keep trying.
What’s the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
One was famous for walking on the moon, (pause), the other fucked young boys.
I look at your bro.
And all I can see is the real definition of *"Lack of Grace!"*
Two people about to have sex realize they have no lube.
In their desperate, horny haste, they looked for the nearest "Downy" and asked it, "Speak into my hand."
Upon their return to the bed, they regretted it immediately because his dick just stayed down...
Memes
Waking up is the second hardest thing in the morning.
When you put the chicken in the oven, it goes down, and the oven explodes. The oven and smoke and everything is fire and on fire and flies to the grass, and all goes back.
Why did the Democrats act like an asshole when Rush Limbaugh was alive?
Because they fear him.
Q: Why did the islamic chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the airport.
The Americans.
Ever heard the saying white people can’t jump??
Well, I think that’s total bullshit. You should have seen us on 9/11!
Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for buns!
What's the sound that dwarfs make when they have sex?
Broken plates.
I am the least serious person ever, but whoever is joking about cancer is vile :)
Get some fucking respect, you silly tramp!
Who is white, hairy, and rusty in the tree?
It's Rambo Rabbit with a big gun that was.
Why do people not adhere to the corona measures?
Because they hate their lives and want to die.
What did one cheek say to the other cheek?
"It is a squash in here!"
What's the difference between a frog and a skyscraper? The frog can jump. Hahahahaha!
Somebody’s son said, "Mom, my dick has white stuff coming out of it." She said, "Oh, good one, son, so when’s the baby coming?"
An Indian kid walked into the shop and had a curry down because they had no naan bread in stock.