The jokes

If it's true what they say and I quote, "God never gives you more than you can handle," then you should pray to those who didn't, that God gave them a body strong enough to survive the attempt.

Yo mamma so stupid when a robber stole her TV, she ran after him saying, "You forgot the remote!"

I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage.

I lost my case.

"Wanna play the rape game?"

"No!!!!"

"That's the spirit!"

Why do feminists eat so much pussy?

To get the taste of dick out of their mouths.

Does it cycle now, you stupid bitches?

What’s the difference between a Ferrari and ten 6-year-olds?

I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.

What is the difference between an old chest and a kid? One doesn't cry when you drop it in the basement.

Necrophilia in Alabama is fun for the whole family, even grandma.

Why are we depressed? Is it because of that bully in your school, or because you have acne? How about when you listen to your sad song playlist? Maybe it's because you have no friends? Or is it the fact your anime girlfriend is fake? T^T

A receptionist at the Twin Towers orders two pepperoni pizzas. She was upset when she got two planes.

I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.

But when I got home, all the signs were there.

Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came home with the milk.

What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

Snowballs ;)

Suicide gives you security for the future.

Decide the day of suicide and live with full joy till that day, and you can choose to postpone it.

What's the difference between Mexicans and stoners? Stoners actually have papers.

Why are there no good Indian actors? Because all the good ones are trying to get your bank details over the phone.

What's the difference between Hitler and a feminist?

At least Hitler actually did something.

What is the first thing the disabled download on iTunes?

"They see me rolling, they hatin'."

What caused Captain Hook's death?

He accidentally used the wrong hand to wipe his ass.

Did you hear about the cheetah who robbed a bank? He ran away so fast he almost got away with it, but he was spotted.