The jokes

The more emos there are, the less emos there are.

My grandad was shocked to learn that lightning can strike in the same place twice.

I'm jealous of my LED lights, 'cause they're hanging from the ceiling and I'm not.

What's the difference between meat and fish?

If you beat your fish, it'll die.

So a girl goes to Santa in the mall, and Santa asks what she would like for Christmas. So the kid says: “a little sister”. So then Santa says: “bring me your mother!”

If it's true what they say and I quote, "God never gives you more than you can handle," then you should pray to those who didn't, that God gave them a body strong enough to survive the attempt.

Yo mamma so stupid when a robber stole her TV, she ran after him saying, "You forgot the remote!"

I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage.

I lost my case.

The orphan was playing baseball. He hit a home run. His coach told him to run home. He couldn't find it.

Why doesn’t Pakistan have any football teams?

Every corner they get, they open a shop on it!

If the formula of water is H2O, then what is the formula of ice?

H2O cubed.

What’s the difference between a Ferrari and ten 6-year-olds?

I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.

Sixty years ago, Stephen Hawking's teacher got fired for accidentally making an offensive joke. What was it? Go for your dreams, kids. Reach for the stars.

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? -- The wheelchair.

What is the difference between an old chest and a kid? One doesn't cry when you drop it in the basement.

Why are we depressed? Is it because of that bully in your school, or because you have acne? How about when you listen to your sad song playlist? Maybe it's because you have no friends? Or is it the fact your anime girlfriend is fake? T^T

I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.

But when I got home, all the signs were there.

KFC proudly presents the kid fryer meal where our fillets are made out of kids. 😎 1 like = more kids in our fryer.

Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came home with the milk.

What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

Snowballs ;)