The jokes
My sister was hitting on my boyfriend. I'm 11, she's 9. She said, "Go f-ck yourself," so I said, "Okay, thanks for the idea!"
How [does] a disabled kid face [the] Jalalas?
He can't run, just hug the bomb.
Why did the cow cross the road?
'Cause he wanted to go to a moooooooooooooooooooooooovie.
Why did Stephen Hawking make it to heaven?
He couldn't make it up the stairs.
Friends are very important. I have lots of friends in very high places. I hope the police can talk them down!
Memes
A kid asks for an ice cream. The man says, "Any sauce?" and the kid says, "Na, I got ketchup at home."
One day my pet barked at me and so I got scared and was my dad actually. It was weird, you should’ve saw him and so the day goes on because he likes to run around the house that he likes to do it out 😂😂😂😂😱
Did you know all Canadians have the same blood type?
They all have blood "eh."
My friend Richard is always bullying all the little kids in the neighborhood. He is such a dick.
The second twin tower is like Canada. It doesn’t exist.
Ever notice 9-1-1 (the number for the po-po) is the Great Date (9-11)... Hmmm.
Stephen Hawking died because he rolled too far from the outlet.
Why did the kids love the mushrooms?
Because they're fun-guys!
The other day, my best friend flipped off the table in class. I thought it was flipping amazing!
What's the difference between a fly and a bird?
A bird can fly, but a fly cannot bird.
Chuck Norris once did a roundhouse kick... and successfully completed the bottle cap challenge.
Why did the chicken not cross the road?
Because it saw your face!
What time is it when dogs get hurt?
Time to take your dog to the vet!
What is the difference between a car and a tree?
A tree cannot drive, but a car can drive.
How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water?
199, because the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it's not real and it doesn't exist because it's not real).
Get?