The jokes
How do fuck a really fat chick?
Roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.
When you ask your friend, "Can I hear a joke?"
"Sure."
"What do orphans and orange peels have the same?"
"What?"
"They both get thrown out."
I like sucking the Twin Towers off, but then I forgot dad already finished the job.
What looks like half a cat?
The other half.
Dad: I’m taking your toys to the orphanage.
Child: But why?
Dad: Because you’re going to need them there.
I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!
What is the best way to keep dogs out of the street?
Put them in a barking lot!
If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?
Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!
Why couldn't the GREAT WHITE beat the HAMMERHEAD?
because the GREAT WHITE kept getting BONKED on the HEAD by the HAMMERHEAD!
What is the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken.
My dad told me and my sister to stop arguing, so I threw her out the window instead.
Quote of the day:
A bad attitude is like a flat tire. You can't go anywhere until you change it.
Chao!!!
Q: What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
A: One of them gets picked.
What did the soccer player say to the flight attendant? "Please put me in coach!"
"I'm the big man, catching the kids in my big van." - Ben 2021
The boy was clapping, then he became clapped.
Please don't get mad, it's a joke.
What's the difference between a bullet and a police officer? At least when a bullet kills someone, it's fired.
This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"
Why did the baker's hands smell of shit?
He kneaded a turd.
When the husband said "Is your ass so big?" she said "Because I am holding my shit."