The jokes
Walked into a bar the other day and a group of sailors were being loud and shouting about all the women they have in port that had given them gonorrhea...
Bloody seamen.
Operation failed in North Korea, the surgeon died.
Why was the kid not able to cross the hallway?
Answer: The school shooter already shot him in the middle of the hallway.
Fail and fall mean the same thing when it’s downstairs.
You know, life as a pufferfish is tough. They get startled, then they get hard.
What do you call a toddler lying in the middle of the road? Speed bump.
Ok, now I'm not good at telling jokes, but this one is not too bad. One cunt said to another cunt, "Do you get cold at night?"
"Fuck no, cunt," the first cunt said, "Why?"
"I have a built-in set of vertical curtains to keep the cold out, cunt!" xx
Have you heard about the blind man who saw the accident and the dead man who heard it?
What part of a vegetable is the hardest to eat?
The wheelchair.
What did one plate say to the other plate?
"Dinner's on me."
What’s the best part about fucking a dead bitch?
You don’t need consent.
How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.
What’s the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?
Pikachu, I choose you!
I bet you go grocery shopping at the Twinkie Factory.
What is the best way to catch a baby from falling off the roof?
With a pitchfork.
When you send a dick pic and she sends one back,
I'm glad mine is the biggest, so I get to fuck my dad again.
What's the difference between dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
Why can't Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
'Cause he'd walk up the stairs!
How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw.
Playing a game called 7-Up.
Student: Why can't I use a pencil to tap their fingers?
Teacher: It's cheating!
Student: No! It's the object of the game.