The jokes
Where did Sally go when she went in the minefield?
Everywhere.
What comes next in the pattern: ottffs?
So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.
The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!
I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag. OK, I’m joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.
I lost my job making storage units for the police after a week. I guess you could say it was a brief case.
What did the ferret say after his family was questioned by police?
It's none of your business!
Wow, I can't believe you'd take the time to read this!
Q: What is the opposite of 'Dominos'?
A: Domi doesn't know!
I told my friend to look at the clock, then I said, "Is this a bad time?"
A baby is like another step. You use it just the same as the other steps.
So I was visiting my friends Timmy and Tommy at the phone store and I said, "A. T&T!"
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.
Then it hit me.
Did you hear about the man who backed into a meat grinder?
I guess you could say... he was a little behind on his work.
Guys, there is no need to worry about anti-vaxxers. The more there are, the less there are.
A man walks into a bar. The corrections officer says, "Usually we open the cell before you go in, now stop bleeding on my floor!"
Why did the Texas cow own its own dachshund?
The cowboy told it to "get along little doggie."
What did the angler say to his students at the end of his fishing class?
Catch you later!
Why couldn't the T-rex clap his hands?
Because he's dead.
Why did the chili blush?
Because it was so hot!
Why was the dog so stressed out?
It had a ruff day.