The jokes

What time does a duck wake up? At the quack of dawn.

Yo what quacking lacking? Looking for a ducking good time? I've got some one lines and knee slappers that ought to fix the bill. What happens flied upside down? It quacks up.

Have you watched the show "Naked and Afraid"? Well, I play it every Saturday with my uncle.

I've been looking for my parents for years. For the life of me, I can't remember where I buried them.

What does "the whole pile of poops" mean?

"The whole pile of shits."

Why do orphans go to the market?

To get the milk their parents didn't bring back.

Why can't an emo person be in charge of sky diving?

He won't deploy the parachute.

Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."

Why didn’t the Twin Towers like their pizza?

Cause it was plain.

You learn something new every day.

Like the people in 9/11 are the world's fastest readers; they went through 100s in under a second.

If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes, whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size.

My mates threw nuts at the wall, now we call them walnuts.

Hahaha :)

Q: What do you get when the cow jumped over the barbed wire? A: Udder destruction!

I was wearing a George Floyd t-shirt

And a person said to me:

"That must be a bit tight round the neck".

What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?

The anesthesia takes a while to put you under.

What's the food orphans can't eat?

Family-sized ice cream.

What does the drummer call his twins? Anna 1, Anna 2.

What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where's popcorn?

Life asked death, "Why do people choose you over me?"

Death replied, "Because you're the beautiful lie, and I'm the painful truth."

Ahaha, I'm laughing because my friend is so black his mama killed the clown.