The jokes
What does a paleontologist and woke people have in common?
They both enjoy digging up the past.
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just like hanging in the dark.
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the studio?
Because he wanted to drop higher bars!
My girlfriend told me her lips were dry, and she had the audacity to get mad at me for telling her to walk.
Did Walmart take the Juneteenth ice cream off the shelf?
It was only 3/5 full.
What does the word circumcise mean?
Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.
A panic-stricken man explained to his doctor, “You have to help me, I think I’m shrinking.”
“Now settle down,” the doctor calmly told him. “You'll just have to learn to be a little patient.”
Today I'm attaching a light to the ceiling, but I'm afraid I'll probably screw it up.
What’s the difference between a gun and liberals?
Guns only have one trigger.
What did the man say in the morning after beating up his wife?
"I woke up Chris Breezy."
The definition of the word "Disappointment" means running into a wall with a boner and breaking your nose.
What did the rapper say to the computer?
“Yo, stop laggin’ my FLOW!”
Don't click the link.
I rate the atmosphere of Israel a 10/7; real good stuff there, looks like an actual movie!
Yo mama so fat, she the reason why Moses split the Red Sea.
Why did the woman cross the road?
What’s she doing out of the kitchen in the first place?
Q: How many men does it take to open up a beer?
A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.
Judge to the defendant: "Defendant, do you have a criminal record?"
"No."
"Have you always been honest?"
"No, never been caught!"
Attended my boss's funeral to pay my respects. On my way out, I leaned over his casket and whispered lightly, "Well, look who's thinking outside the box now."
How do you make the grass cut itself?
Make it depressed.